We think that many would answer "yes" to this question. But if we complicate the question a bit and ask people to rate the importance of interests on a scale from 1 to 10, they would likely not even place them in the top three. Common interests are indeed important, but it’s even more important to have shared values, mutual respect, support, the ability to discuss and find compromises, willingness to invest in the relationship, and other positive qualities.
As tradition dictates, let’s begin with the pros and cons. Yes, there are drawbacks as well!
For example, common interests contribute to such a merger that partners sometimes forget about personal space. If one loves the theater, the other is unlikely to miss a new premiere. Over time, fatigue and irritation can accumulate, the sense of novelty will disappear, and you won't have anything to share. You may feel like the relationship has stagnated and reached a dead end. The desire to spend time separately will arise more and more often.
But in general, common interests are great. It means you'll be able to spend a lot of time together, and you'll always have something to talk about. You’ll be able to better understand what’s going on inside each other. Chances are, there won’t be any problems with choosing gifts. In general, the strengthening of the relationship with interests is in full swing.
What if a couple has no common interests? Are such relationships doomed to fail?
There will be some challenges, to put it that way. Each person will need time to satisfy their interests, and it will take a lot of effort to agree on joint activities. There may be fewer shared bright moments and common memories. The primary question will revolve around finding common ground.
If the presence of common interests leads a couple to a merger, then the lack of them can make the partners feel lonely and lose their value for each other. It will be difficult for you to agree on plans. And if, at the beginning of the relationship, you had hoped for greater compatibility, you may eventually feel bitterness and disappointment.
But such a bleak picture is only possible if one does not consider the issues and is unwilling to communicate or find compromises. Yes, it's difficult to be together without something in common, but it's not a death sentence. Often, mutual respect and support are much more important. Moreover, you can find new interests for yourself: watch movies, take walks, travel, do sports, go to theaters and museums, cook together, and talk about what you've read. Make some things a joint ritual. For example, have dinner together every evening and discuss the day that has passed.
The lack of common interests is also an opportunity
For instance, to enhance your communication skills and your ability to negotiate, you can learn from each other and expand your horizons. You have an excellent chance to explore each other, and the sense of novelty will never disappear. The lack of common interests can teach us diversity, adaptability, and resilience, make us more flexible, and allow us to stay young longer.
If you and your partner don’t share common interests, don’t panic. It’s not a red flag or a sign that the relationship is doomed. Love, respect, mutual understanding, and a willingness to work on the relationship make the foundation for a long-term relationship.
The basis of this foundation is compatibility. You can check it out on Twinby!
